I've been away for a very very long time. My artsy side is already rusting. I'm going to start doing art soon. Some fresh inspiration! - that's imma need.

I'm so upset with my life right now. And I'm resorting to the unthinkable (alcohol, smoking, and etc) for the reasons like:

- flunking a subject
- not being able to handle insecurities well
- angry (i dunno why i am angry all the time nowadays. i'm not like this before. i don't want to be like this.)
- peer pressure (everyone around me is so damn good in just about everything and i don't feel i even measure up to anything)

i feel weak. im lacking self-esteem. I dunno why, but I dont feel comfortable, feel out of place, feel weak. I feel everyone's out to get me. I am misunderstood. I try to change for the better, but I only got worse.

Why do you always want me to be somebody else? Why do you set your expectations so high I can't even reach it?

*sighs*

Hopefully, I'll get back on my feet soon.